Social anxiety is a crippling fear of becoming the focus of attention, and worry about what other people are thinking about you. Self help and professional care can reduce the impact on your life.

About social anxiety

People with social anxiety disorder get so anxious and distressed in social situations that they often try to avoid those situations altogether.

Usually, this means worrying about being judged negatively by other people, or worrying about behaving in an embarrassing way.

A person with social anxiety disorder might be scared of one specific situation (like speaking up in a meeting at work) or lots of different situations (like giving a speech, being watched while writing or eating in front of people).

Self help and professional support can reduce the impact of social anxiety.

Physical sensations

When we are exposed to a physical threat, our bodies automatically gear up to fight or run away – this is called the fight-flight-freeze response.

We become more alert, our heart starts racing, our muscles tense up, we sweat more and breathe more quickly.

These changes are designed to protect us from danger. They help us to run quickly to safety or fight the 'enemy'.

But sometimes our fight-flight-freeze response is activated when it’s not actually helpful (that is, when there is no real danger). When people with social anxiety find themselves in a situation where they are worried they will be judged, the fight-flight-freeze response fires up. Some or all of the following sensations might be triggered:

• racing heart
• blushing
• dizziness or feeling faint
• sweating or hot flushes
• trembling or shaking
• mind going ‘blank’
• nausea or butterflies in the stomach.

Actions and avoidance

Because the feelings associated with the fight-flight-freeze response are so unpleasant, our usual response is to get away from the situation that's causing anxiety.

A person with social anxiety might start making up excuses or reasons to avoid situations that create anxiety.

While this might seem sensible, avoiding these situations is actually counterproductive. It stops you from learning that they’re not really dangerous situations (and even if you do get anxious, you can handle it) and confirms the anxiety these situations create.

Thoughts and beliefs

People with social anxiety often have unhelpful thoughts about their own behaviour or how they are being judged by others. For example:

• "They must think I look silly and sound pathetic."
• "I am going to stuff this up."
• "I won’t know what to say."
• "Everyone can see how anxious I am."

Negative self talk like this makes anxiety worse. It reinforces anxious thoughts and normalises these reactions to various situations. It can make you more self conscious.

You are not alone

Social anxiety disorder is one of the most common types of anxiety. About one-in-twelve people, or almost 2 million Australians, will experience it at some point in their lives.

Research suggests social anxiety might be more common among older veterans, with about one-in-seven Vietnam veterans affected. Amongst ex-serving members more broadly, about 11% of transitioned ADF members experience social anxiety disorder in a given year.

Many people with social anxiety suffer from other mental health problems as well. So if you find self-help techniques don't resolve your social anxiety, it is worth considering professional help as it could open the door to resolving other issues affecting your quality of life.

Compared to the average person, someone with social anxiety is almost five times more likely to have depression, and almost three times as likely to have a problem with drugs or alcohol.

What treatments can help me?

One of the most effective treatments for social anxiety disorder is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). CBT recognises that the way we think and act affects the way we feel. With the help of a therapist, CBT will help you learn:

• to better understand the symptoms, causes and impact of social anxiety
• to challenge your fears and worries related to the social situations that bother you (such as worries that you might say the wrong thing during a job interview)
• to face the situations that you’re afraid of and usually avoid, in a gradual and manageable way
• assertiveness and conversational skills (if necessary)
• a range of relaxation activities including breathing exercises and other strategies to help you manage the physical symptoms of anxiety.

See also