This story is part of Open Conversations, an audio series where veterans and veteran families of the ADF share their story seeking mental health support.

Download the transcript of Kristy's story.

Kristy joined the Navy straight out of school but was medically discharged two years later with a serious back injury. She’s now an Open Arms Community and Peer Advisor.

Now I am married to a veteran and my family has quite a rich history of serving in the Australian Defence Force as well. So the Defence experience is quite deep within our family. My grandfather is a Vietnam veteran.

In high school, I wasn't quite sure what path I wanted to take. I knew that I wanted to travel the world and was seeking adventure. I was very, very interested in a nursing career. So for me, when Defence recruiters came to the school and gave their spiel, I was pretty sold. I thought it was a great opportunity to travel the world, have some world-class experiences and skills and training. Once I'd made up my mind that I was joining the Navy, that was it, I was set.

I had a really positive experience when I was in service. I still speak to a lot of people today – some of my closest and dearest friends I served with. It's like a big family.

Transitioning

I transitioned out in December of 2009. It's very different now to what it was then.

I felt really isolated. I didn't have a great deal of support. I didn't know what I could access. For me, joining the military was something that I wanted to do for a really long time and I had big dreams, big career dreams that I never got to fulfill.

So leaving at such a young age and only after such a short period was a big shock and there was a grieving process as well attached to that. And it took a really, really long time to find a new path.

I was single. I'd moved back into my parents' house and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do next. I had to change my entire career path, which I really struggled with. So I muddled through some poor choices. I thought university would be a great option, starting by distance. History seems like an interesting topic at the time. That didn’t last long. And then I thought interior design looks great. That didn't pan out well. I then thought nutrition looked really good. So I studied nutrition and again, that flopped. At the time I didn't have guidance and support.

Getting that support when you need it

After having my third baby, my mental health nosedived. And there was a lot of unprocessed grief and trauma from my military experience that had sort of compounded. And also postnatal depression was the cherry on top. I still remember making the first call to Open Arms and having the first discussion with the intake worker and what my options were. Being rural, my options were to see an outreach provider and I was so grateful for that support.

It normalised the conversation around mental health. I didn't feel like I was being judged. I didn't feel like I was crazy. I didn't feel like I was different. It was just a normal conversation. And for me, I think I needed that at the time to not feel like it was a big deal to be accessing mental health support, that it was just something else that I could access to support my overall well-being, my mental health journey, and to support my family as well.

Accessing Open Arms was probably life-saving, to be able to have that support in working through some of the most challenging times of my life meant that I could do and be what I am today. To be able to support other people to connect with Open Arms and other support services.

I think that sometimes we are our biggest roadblocks when it comes to accessing support. In terms of the services that Open Arms provides, there's a whole suite of services that can be accessed that are free, whether it's engaging with a counsellor, whether it's engaging with peer support, whether it's attending our group programs. There's a whole bank of information and support that I don't think a lot of people know they can access or may feel like they're not eligible to access. Dealing with the stigma of accessing mental health services in general can be challenging as well.

Family support

Partners may have ferried around the country half a dozen times and just need that little bit of additional support to parent or know what's available in that location to support their mental health and the mental health of their children.

In the bubble of Defence when you sign up, when you become a member of the ADF, it's not just you that becomes a member, it's your whole family. So to be able to include that within our eligibility criteria I think is absolutely fantastic.

Being a Mental Health Peer

I love what I do. It's challenging to support people at sometimes their most vulnerable times in their life. But being able to support families and from that lived experience perspective as well, to share the journey and to support people in knowing that they're not alone.

I've had many, many conversations with people around what Open Arms can provide to them. That might be how to access the service, what opportunities are available for them to feel connected and supported when they are muddling through, whether it's living with a veteran and figuring out how to support them. Or if they're a current serving family it's connecting them with resources to put them in the best place to support themselves and their families and their children.

Why would you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders when you can share that with someone else and they can just take a little bit of that weight for you?

Thanks to Kristy for sharing her story for us. If this episode raises questions for you, or if you would like to speak to someone about how it impacts you, you can contact Open Arms in Australia on 1800 011 046.