Kyle provides the kind of support that saved him
This story is part of Open Conversations, an audio series where veterans and veteran families of the ADF share their story seeking mental health support.
Download the transcript of Kyle's story.
Kyle joined the Army in 2010 and 18 months later deployed to Afghanistan with the 3rd/4th Cavalry Regiment. Kyle was a driver and he and his mates faced the constant threat of IEDs (improvised explosive devices). While his vehicle never hit one, plenty of vehicles around him did and what he experienced during the deployment gave rise to posttraumatic stress (PTS). Kyle is now an Open Arms Peer Worker.
I thought, because nothing ever happened to me, I should be okay. I came home a month earlier for surgery than the people I deployed with. So I really struggled because it was just me that came home on my own.
It was around Christmas time and I just drank a lot. It was easy enough to hide my level of drinking because it was festive and everything. But that really set the tone for the next year. I was taking other drugs as well. And that just turned into a way for me to cope with what was happening and that just became my new normal. That was pretty much the worst year of my life. Pretty much from January until I would think I was diagnosed with PTSD in September, October that year.
I didn't know what was happening, to be honest. I didn't know much about mental health. I just sort of was living it day to day and I thought this was normal. I would be just having more regular panic attacks. These panic attacks came when I was driving my car because that's kind of what I was doing in Afghanistan. I would be crying throughout the day and I just had no idea why. And I didn't tell anyone. Even my like best friend at the time I was living with, I think he was struggling too, but we never said anything to each other. We just drunk and drank our problems away, or tried to at least.
The final straw was for me having a final panic attack where I thought I was going to die. And that was it. That was me sort of reaching out for help after that.
So once I put my hand up, I rang the base's psych unit to try and go in and see someone. But there was like a two-month wait to see a psych on base. So they referred me to VVCS, which is now Open Arms. And I saw someone within a week or two – an outreach program counsellor. And that was the best thing that happened to me in that time.
How counselling helped
I really struggled during each session. I'd be reduced to tears because I'd be reliving a lot of these traumatic events, but little did I know that the hard work I put in early would set me up years down the track so that I felt like I was able to deal with it.
I look back now after being 10 plus years and I wish I could see my first psychologist and just thank her. She was someone that really cared and just knew exactly what was going on. Even though it was really tough, I really like felt that I was in the best care possible when I was being looked after by her. She was really on the journey with me.
It's not doing one thing once a month or once every six months and thinking that is just going to be suitable. You actually have to be tenacious and practise these things day in, day out. And they're not easy things to practice, but what's the alternative? It’s feeling terrible, struggling with your mental health.
I also had couples counselling to help my then partner understand PTSD a little bit more because it was quite new for her.
I wish I had done group therapy. The thought about being vulnerable in front of a group of veterans, made me really worried. That just relates back to the stigma that was around at my unit at the time. So I didn't do the group therapy, but it was honestly to my own detriment because having co-facilitated some of the programs that Open Arms deliver, I know how great they are. And I know how much they would have helped me back then.
Keeping on top of your mental health
Things that I'm doing regularly are exercise, eating right and sleep. You know, sleep is the tide that rises all boats. So if you're not getting enough sleep, you’ll be affecting your mental health and your physical health. So I really focus on trying to get as much sleep as possible. And that includes reducing alcohol around certain times.
It's also exercise. I catch up with friends. I'm having a social connection, but also getting out in nature and doing some solo hikes. It’s so therapeutic about just being out in nature; it's like a counselling session for me.
How Peer Support Workers help
What's great about working as a peer is you get to see all the services involved. That’s the great part about Open Arms: you can have a counsellor, you can have a peer and you can also have a complex case coordinator.
As a peer, we are really goal-focused. That goal might be the person’s social connection, or financial counselling, or employment. And none of my two peer clients have ever been the same. And that's what the beauty of peer support is. It's really focused about what they need at that time, and there’s no judgment whatsoever. You're getting in a Peer Support Worker someone who’s been there and done that.
And when we get people that are so active in their recovery and they're ready for it, they just flourish in a space of six to nine months. We get people who come in with not a lot of confidence and struggling with dealing with a lot of the day to day. But at that six months, nine months, people are thriving after being linked in with these services or one thing leads to another and they're able to hold down employment.
Social connection
Mainly I work with people that like social connection. Getting out of the military, you lose a lot of that camaraderie and it's linking them in with different social connection. A lot of people want to give back and volunteer. So we link them up with volunteer agencies.
Some people have just gotten a pay-out from DVA. And like myself, I used to be a gambler and it's making sure that you use this money correctly. We refer them to financial counselling and help them look after their money and put it towards something that can help them.
So employment, so we refer them to either to DVA but also the RSL’s employment team.
We help clients with service dogs, either using their own dog and getting that trained up as a service dog, but also referring them to other organisations that supply the working dog for them. So they're able to have another layer of support.
Seeking help
Once you say you're not okay to the right person, it's like a domino effect – these amazing things can happen for you.
If you tell someone, if you ring up the Open Arms 1800 number, you'll be welcomed. They're really caring people who want to help you.
All it takes for you is just to say, hey, I need some help. And then you'll be surprised with how many amazing people put their hands up to help you.
Thanks to Kyle for sharing his story for us. If this episode raises questions for you, or if you would like to speak to someone about how it impacts you, you can contact Open Arms in Australia on 1800 011 046.